(The ghostwriter-that's me- the auntie of all five of the Carr's basketball team;felt that it was important to address this situation. I might be projecting some of my own opinions in this post as a teacher and an aunt. I do however feel that my sister- the mom of the five shares most if not all my opinions.)
A Mother's Fear
Past and recent events make me wonder. They make me wonder what life will be like when all my children are grown up. I am a black mother raising a young black man, a young black woman, two young white women and one white male. (I use future tense while writing this.)
A mother's fear for her young black son: when will he be stopped by the police walking home from a friends house just as night falls, because he fits the description of someone in the area? When will he face direct discrimination when he leaves the confines of his safe and inviting home and surrounding community? When will he have to put his hands up and say, " I am not resisting officer, I am following your instructions." When will he have to fight harder than his white counterparts to get into the upper level classes, and have his college application scrutinized more because he is a minority? When will he have a family of his own and worry about the same things I worry about as his mother?
A mother's fear for her young black daughter: When will she be called "ghetto", "chicken-head" or some other derogatory comment? When will she be asked if she aspires to be a "video girl?" When will she not longer have the desire to be the "smart girl" because it is not favored by society, that a black girl can be smart. When will someone look my child in her face and say, "You can't play soccer professionally, you are black and black girls don't play soccer." When will I have to tell her that she will have to be stronger than myself, her grandmother, her great-grandmother and her great-great grandmother combined so that she she can walk proudly as a woman, not just a black woman? When will she potentiality be told she is worth nothing because her skin is darker than others? When will she have a family of her own and worry about the same things I worry about as her mother?
A mother's fear for her two young white daughters: When will they be told that they are N*****-lovers because they are apart of our family? When will they be told that they need to stop "acting black" because they are white? When will they be told that white girls don't get their hair braided in cornrows, only black girls do? When will they be told that are nothing but "white trash" because of the mother G-d gave them at the start of their lives? When will they be told by a young white male that he can't date them because their parents and two siblings are black? When will they have families of their own and worry about the same things I worry about as their mother?
A mother's fear for her young white son: He might be special needs, but the only thing special about him is how big and loving his heart is. When will he be told that he can't do something because of the, what I like to call his "different-ability"? When will he be told he can't hang out with his older brother when he is older because people don't believe they are related? When will others start to tell him that he doesn't "match" the rest of his family? When will he be told that he shouldn't date a non-white girl because other girls will only be after him for his money and use him? When will he get to college and be told that he can't be in a club because he isn't the "right fit" for that group? When will he have a family of his own and worry about the same things I worry about as his mother?
The world is constantly changing and in this country and others, it is apparent that race IS an issue. Do not tell me that it isn't. I do not need people to tell me that people are being more open about the discussion of race, because they are not. Do not get offended and call me another "angry black woman," because I speak my mind about the fact that my children were born with a disadvantage. Do not tell me that race doesn't matter, that when you see my family, you don't stare and turn your head. Do not tell me that we can have this dialogue without anyone heated debate. I'm sorry, do you go to bed and do you wake up with the same dark/brown skin, or put on the same hijab or other religious head covering on every morning? If you don't, then guess what? I am going to be heated in my discussion with you about race and let's throw religion in there too. I and many others like me walk around with a visible mark on us, whether it be our skin color, or our religious coverings/dress. We have a right to be "heated" when we talk about race, it is something we live with everyday. We are called names, we are belittled in the news as nothing more than "aggressive," "terrorists," "ghetto," etc. It is not something that we can just not deal with, it is who we are. We are the color we are, we are the religion we are and we adhere to our faith accordingly, so white America needs to stop telling us to calm down. We don't need to calm down, we need you to get just as angry about what is going on in this country and elsewhere in order for things to truly change.
And with that I leave you with one thought; Do you fear for your children's lives when they leave the house? (This is this mother's fear.)
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