Meet Our Family

Here is some context before I explain my family. I grew up with my mother, father and three sisters. We were an Air Force family so we moved a bit. My mother is black, my father is white, my older sister is Japanese American from my father's first marriage and my baby sisters (twins) are biracial. That gives you an understanding of what my life was like before I was married and had children. I was used to people wondering how did that "family" happen. I grew up with people questioning my family.

My husband and I have been together since 1995 and got married in 2003. We started our "little" family 12 years ago when our first son was born in March of 2003. Our daughter was born in 2005. This is where the story starts...little did we know that our "little" family would be ever changing down the road.

I come from a family that mirrored the Cosby Family, in the sense that my father was constantly making up songs in the morning. We dance and sang while cleaning up the kitchen and my mother would be the first to say, "that is your child," if something went wrong. I even think once or twice my parents even said, "I brought you in this world, I will take you out. " I am a fun loving, loud singing woman and that is how I live my life. My children are my joy, and my husband supports me in everything I do. (Well, let me rephrase that, he really just realized it's easier to just go along with me.)
I still do that with my children to this day. As they get older, I might embarrass them now, when I sing in the store, but oh well, it's my job.

Ok, so let me get back to my "little" family...I have two children by 2005 and we were happy and couldn't ask for anything more. The children were growing up and enjoying life and then in 2012, our family began to grow. I work with children in the system, and their families. I go on visitations, handle foster parents, you name it, I do it as a social worker. In June of 2012, my family had the opportunity to foster a great little boy. He was 13 months old and came to us and it was love at first sight. This little one, came with his challenges. He is on the autistic spectrum, he had not had any early intervention, prior to coming to us. Once he was with us and was receiving the help he needed we started to see him thrive.

So, the family grew by one that year. Months pass, and I get a phone call saying the same mother was pregnant and was due in August. They wanted to know if we would be willing to take the baby once she was born.  It only made since to keep the siblings together, right? (The mother, is a winner, in the sense that she might not have been a good mother, but she game birth to beautiful children!) August came and we had an hours notice that K was coming to be with our family. I am a planner, and I started to freak out. Thank god for friends and family, we were able to gather enough items for this new little one in our life.  So, if you have lost count, the number of children is at 4 and the number of adults in the house is 2.

Is this all making sense? Ok, good, thanks for keeping up. If you have read this far, thanks!!

In between having two older children and two new little ones in the house, I decided to be a surrogate for a family up north. (Yes, my husband is a saint and puts up with a lot.) The year is 2012, so think of the hectic world I already have at the moment, but why not help out a family. The first implantation did not take, so for me it was as if I was letting this couple down. I wanted it to work as much as they did. We took the children on the second trip and they were my good luck charms- the second implantation took! The parents were a biracial couple- white father and Asian mother.  Now, picture the scene in the delivery room in December of that year: A overly pregnant black woman with her husband, her four children, two black and two white. (oh, yeah...I didn't mention that Z and K are blue eyed, blonde haired little cuties.) I can only imagine what the hospital staff was thinking: I gave birth to a White/Asian baby. I was able to give a couple something I already had and that was a family.

Moving forward to 2013, I get another call. Man every time the phone rings, I think my husband twitched! The oldest sibling of Z and K was with a foster family in the area and had been for visits with us before. (My impression of the foster parents: that needed a "break" from her...but then again, why take a child into your home if you were not ready for them and need breaks. There are no breaks when you accept a child into your home!)  Phone rings and guess what they wanted to know if we were willing to take on M since we already had her little brother and baby sister. What could I say? YES!!!  The child to adult ratio is now 5/2, and a dog.

Over the past two years, Z, K and M were officially adopted into the Carr family. I wouldn't have it any other way. All of my children offer me joy and I love them with every fiber of my being. I am a momma bear that will go to war over my children and anyone who knows me knows I am a fighter. (I get that from my mother.)  I never imagined that I would have five children. Everyday is an adventure and they keep me on my toes.

So that is the story of how my "little" family started and eventually grew to what it is today. I have been supported by my husband, friends and family all the way through this wild ride. My heart has grown bigger as my family grew. I hope you come back for the stories I will share about my family. Trust me, I can't make any of it up. It's true life and it's the Carr Chronicles!

Be Kind!
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