In our society race is something that needs to be discussed. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about it...it is something that will never go away. People that say they don't see color and treat everyone the same, in my mind are lying. Everyone SEES COLOR, it is the one thing that you notice instantly by looking at someone. You can not tell, what religion, they are or their political stance just by looking at someone. (Ok, the religion thing you can sometimes, if the person is wearing a religious garment.) This might be a touchy subject to discuss, but guess what we are going to talk about...get ready.
When a white family adopts children that are not white, people automatically know that those children are adopted. They do not question the family, it is a norm in our society in some ways. The white family taking in children of other races, is seen as heartwarming. (Now, don't get your panties in a bunch...I know that some white parents of non-white children do get asked questions that are rude, etc. but, again, it is not that big of an anomaly as my family.) I am a black women with two biological children, and three adopted white children. Just like my mother had to endure looks from people when she would take me, and my light-skinned baby sisters out together, people are rude and heartless. People would assume that my mother is the nanny to the two little, what seemed to be, white girls and she just happened to be taking along her own child.
I had several instances where people have questioned whether or not I AM the parent of my three white children.
1. K is two months old, I am in the store and a lady walks up to me and says, "Oh, when will she get her color? I know some black children start out lighter when they are born." To that I said, "She is white and the only color she is going to get is red, if she stays out in the sun."
2. I have been asked if I am the "nanny" while watching my children play at the park.
3. K was in the pool, and I was sitting close by watching her play. Someone comes up to her and asks, "where is your mom?" K points at me, and I wanted to breath fire on this person for talking to my child like I would just leave a small child unattended in a pool.
4. I have been in stores and people have stopped me on my way out asking K or Z where is your mommy, as if I was stealing someone's children. I don't need to steal anyone's children, the state is more than happy to give me more children if I wanted them!
These are just a few examples of what it is like for us as parents of white children. It is not the norm, but what is normal. My family consists of a Japanese American sister, biracial twin sisters, a white father and my mother that is black. I also have two older nephews that are half black and Japanese...we are a mix of races. That is what makes us who we are as a family. Yes, people questioned my family growing up, but in 2015, I never would have thought that people would still be questioning loving parents who are just trying to raise their children, regardless of race.
My parent's marriage wouldn't have been legal before the Supreme Court case of Loving v Virginia...I would have missed out on growing up in a house that was filled with diversity. We have come a long way since in this country, but we still have much more work to do. There is discussion about how millennials are growing up in a "colorblind" world. I don't think this is something that is truly happening, they are being raised by people that SEE color, so how can they not SEE color as well. I hope that I am raising children that understand that it doesn't matter what color your skin is, what religion you are, or sexual orientation you are, none of that is important, as long as you are GOOD HUMAN BEING. We are all on this planet together, we better get used to sharing it after all this time. We all bleed the same color, breathe the same air, and we seem to be able to do that with out any problems. I guess my main thought is, what is not normal about my family? My husband and I love these five children to the moon and back. Why can't that be enough for people to see, that we are giving these five lives a chance to be something great in this world. We are parents, simple as that. If people ask rude questions, or assume one thing about my family, they are missing out on hearing about how we became the family we are today. Sharing our story, hopefully will allow others to ask more appropriate questions, like, " How do I go about fostering/adopting a CHILD that needs a loving home?"
Be Kind!
#carr_chronicles
No comments:
Post a Comment